Take My Life, Please

 

 My brain hurts. I am looking around at the mess I have created, all the unfinished projects cluttered around me, the necessary never-ending paperwork of life, and all of the resources I have wasted by trying to hook onto every beckoning panacea with an open hand for my wallet.

It is all so meaningless, and yet I feel a desperation to finish all of it. I feel so alone in my life. I have been left unsupervised for way too long, and the freedom is closing in on me.

"Take my life, please!" I found myself silently screaming again just now. 

In anguished humility I recognized my plea as a prayer that has been asked and answered a long time ago. My exhausted superannuated brain chugs and churns to do the math. Forty some years ago, this same brain, awash with teen angst and hormones, first cried out to God and was inexplicably drenched with peace that defied comprehension.

The title of this post slipped into my brain as a prayer of desperation cleverly disguised as a rant against the unfairness of it all, the eyes of my brain have once again been lifted from the inward self centered navel gazing up to the One who has received and answered that prayer with that same simple overwhelming peace.

This has been a true and real time reality blog with no script, no re-enactments or post blog revision. I fought back the compulsion to go back and edit.

Post Parkinson SuperWalk

The Parkinson Superwalk 2018 is all "Done and Dusted" for another year. No more walking around my neighbourhood with a clipboard - as my neighbours all breath a sigh of relief! I got more walking done getting sponsors than I did at the walk itself.

For most of my neighbours, that is the only time of the year that I come knocking on their doors. It is kind of sad that I don't know most of my neighbours, can anyone relate to that?

My grand total for this year's campaign was $1900! My goal was $1000, so I was blown away by the generosity of my friends, neighbours, my huge extended family, and my husband's co-workers.
Fortunately, my Mom's family still gets together for a summer BBQ in August, just before the annual Parkinson's fundraiser Walk, so my aunts and uncles and cousins all come ready to pass my clipboard and envelope around the circle.

I am sorry that I did not take any pictures to post.

A huge thank you to Cyndi Toews for walking with me. I have to confess: we didn't get even the short course finished. We got back to the parking lot where I left my poles, and by the time Cyndi and I got back to the starting point for the short course, I was too exhausted to walk any more. Some speedy able bodied walkers were just coming in, so we joined them making their way back to the courtyard. Good thing it isn't a race.

We had beautiful weather: cool and overcast, but not raining or snowing. This is Manitoba, and we never know what type of weather to expect in September - could still be hot, or raining, or snowing.

Hope to take part again next year.